so, this is what I do when I’m bored lol

1. Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, find line 4 and write the sentence here: “Aww, I’ll make myself scarce, in that case”
2. Stretch your left arm out as far as you can. What’s there? a pillow lol
3. What is the last thing you watched on TV? Nothing, I don’t watch tv remember? 
4. Without looking, guess what time it is: 9:45 pm
5. Now look at the clock. What is the actual time? 9:23 pm
6. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear? my nephew playing around on the keyboard lol
7. When did you last step outside? What were you doing? Earlier today…looking around lol
8. Before you started this survey, what did you look at? A picture of hyde of Vamps…concert photos came out, don’t judge me lol
9. What are you wearing? Nunya lol
10. Did you dream last night? nope
11. When did you last laugh? Two minutes ago
12. What is on the walls of the room you are in? A calendar
13. Seen anything weird lately? Other than you? Nope lol
14. What do you think of Not much at all
15. What is the last film you saw? A documentary by Truthstreammedia
16. If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy? My way out of debt…not even joking.
17. Tell me something about you that I don’t know I…. don’t share with strangers lol
18. If you could change one thing about the world, what would you change?… End the idea of government in its current form at least… making it voluntary to opt in.
19. Do you like to dance? HALE NAWL…I can’t dance lol
20. What do you think of the president? New face, same crappy foreign policy.
21. Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her? Kaya
22. Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him? Brandon  possibly?
23. Would you ever consider living abroad? Yep
24. What do you want to say to God when you reach the pearly gates?…sup?



Tumblr meme lol

    • 1: it’s the apocalypse. you lay next to the person you trust and love most, and start talking. you know your time is limited. what is the one thing you want them to know before you two die?  That I care about them.
    • 2: you are faced with an almighty spirit. it tells you that you must choose two emotions\feelings – one of them you will never feel again, and the other becomes your most dominant. which two are those? never feel again: Sadness Dominant: Joy
    • 3: what is the one thing you want your best friend to never do? why? how will you react if they do it? Lie to me. I get angry and lose trust in them.
    • 4: do you have a favorite tv show? why is it your favorite? what is the reason you started watching it, and what is the reason you continued? I don’t watch tv lol.
    • 5: do you have a favorite musical instrument? if yes, why exactly is it your favorite? can you play it/would you ever? I have a couple of favorites: Viola and Guitar. I can play the viola because I played it in school, but not guitar unfortunately lol.
    • 6: who is your all-time favorite character? why exactly? do you relate to them, and how? Character? Hmm, maybe Kenshin? He was overall a good person with a dark past, but he pushed forward and changed his life for the better. I admired that about him.
    • 7: is there anything you believe in? what is it? why do you believe in it? can you tell us something that explains this belief?  I believe in the fact that I have no idea what I believe in lmao. That’s the most honest I can be at this point in my life.
    • 8: you are locked in a room until the day you die, and have a choice to spend this time with one person. will you choose someone? if yes, who is it? why?  My mom, because if I had to die she would be the person I’d want next to me to calm my fear of the end.
    • 9: what is the book that got you into reading, if there even is one? what was so special about it? when did you read it? I can’t remember, its been so long lol. Maybe Goosebumps when I was a kid? 
    • 10: what is the song i have to listen to so i could know you better? At this point you’d have to listen to certain songs to know about stages in my life lol, there isn’t any definitive song that would help anyone understand me, I’m complicated.
    • 11: do you prefer being outside when its sunny or when its dark? Sunny
    • 12: do you like the rain? why? do you prefer storms or light dripping? I do like the rain, but a regular downpour, not storms.
    • 13: hot chocolate with cinnamon, marshmellows, both or none? Marshmallows
    • 14: do you like tea? why? if yes, what is your favorite kind?  Yes, I love green tea
    • 15: do you enjoy coffee? if yes, do you drink it for the taste or for the caffeine? No, coffee is no bueno.
    • 16: what is your perfect playlist for studying? where is the perfect place to listen to it? The best playlist for studying is silence, anything else is distracting.
    • 17: what is your favorite color? why? what is your least favorite shade of this color? My favorite color changes periodically, but right now I love dark green.
    • 18: think of a person you love. now describe them, using only stuff that only you would describe them with. (for example – my person would be described by reading a new book while there’s a storm outside.) Pass, not touching this mushy question lol
    • 19: what is the song you feel like you HAVE to know to play? Pass on this one too
    • 20: do you like writing? do you prefer to write on a computer or in a notebook?  I do like writing, and either method works for me tbh.
    • 21: shuffle your playlist until you get to a song you will never skip. what is this song? why do you never skip it? do you recommend it? I never skip “calling” by Vamps, because of the second verse:
    • “Don’t waste your time pretending like you don’t know what to do
    • cause you already know the answer is inside of you
    • get up and do it, only you can change your life
    • I’ll be there for you when you open up your eyes”
    • 22: do you like stargazing? why? Nah
    • 23: what is your favorite hour of the day? The end of the day lol
    • 24: what is your harry potter house? did you get sorted on pottermore or do you think it represents you better? I never did this, because I don’t care about stuff like this lol
    • 25: what is your patronus? My WHAT?! The heck you talkin about whipper snapper?!
    • 26: do you want to write a book? if yes, did you start already? NO and NO
    • 27: what is your favorite smell? Citrus scents
    • 28: picture yourself at ease. now describe what exactly did you picture – with who you are? where? what exactly put you at ease? At home, in bed, on the internet…exactly what I’m doing now lol
    • 29: you have the option to forget one book/series completly and reread/rewatch it from the start. what book/series is it? I got nothing,lol
    • 30: what do you love most about humanity?…there’s things to love? lol I guess…people tend to be helpful? idk, this isn’t a subject I tend to think about honestly.

VAMPS (JPN) Concert at The Loft Atlanta Review

So, I went to the Vamps concert last night at Center Stage-The Loft, and I have to admit, it was a helluva show.

They had merchandise! I bought a hoodie, a t-shirt, an album (I only had the itunes version before last night), and a mirror. They’re out of XL for hoodies, but the large is HUGE on me. I could’ve gotten a medium in it, but I like hoodies baggy on me so it works haha. All of the gear is made with high quality material, I really love the merch.

The two opening acts for Vamps headlining show were Palaye Royale and Darke Complex.

I’ve never heard of either band before this concert so it was a new experience for me. Both bands were pretty good, with Palaye Royale standing out a bit more between the two, in my opinion of course.

Darke Complex had a  bit more of a dark style to their music, and it wasn’t bad, but I personally wasn’t very into their music during their set.

The vocalist of Palaye Royale (whose name I need to google later, I’m sorry lol) was really pretty good, with a fun personality and ability to work a crowd of mostly Vamps fans into jamming with the bands music by the end of their set. They also complained about how hot it was hahaha.

Then, it was time for VAMPS to come on stage. The set list for the show is already being circulated online so I won’t go song by song, just the highlights for me.

Hyde came out with a hooded jacket on, that he later discarded and had on a tank top underneath.

The highlights of the show for me was Rise or Die, Bleed For Me, B.Y.O.B., Inside of Me, Calling, Break Free, hell I might as well say the entire concert was the highlight lol.

Personal highlight was when I got loose during Rise or Die and was jumping all over the place, Hyde spotted me and started jumping with me hahahaha.

There were a couple of songs I didn’t care for before the concert , but after hearing them live, I really like them now, like Evil, Bloodsuckers, and Revolution. I realize now songs like Revolution are made for live shows and I jammed to it the whole time haha.

Overall, I really had a ridiculous amount of fun at the concert, not only jamming to the music, but interacting with other fans in line, before and after the concert.

I was already a big fan of the group, but this live made me an even bigger fan. I never thought I could like VAMPS more than I already did, but it happened. Ju-Ken stood out tonight, he was interactive with the crowd and he caught everyone’s attention.

I really hope Vamps comes back to Atlanta soon, because I would pay twice the amount for tickets to see them again! The happiest I’ve ever been to part with money in a while (and I’m cheap lol).




Time for a rant

I am becoming increasingly annoyed with everything and everyone.

I am getting sick of dealing with stupid people over politics, misinterpretations of my words and intentions, personal life,work, EVERYTHING.

Does anyone know how irritating it is for the first reaction to your honesty to be indignation from someone else? I’m not saying anything for my health or for shits and giggles,I’m saying it because I need to hear something from you, whether that is an opinion, advice, reassurance, an excuse to talk abt it, SOMETHING.

Negative reactions tell me its probably a good thing to stay away. I can rescind trust within an instant. Then I become distant, and just slowly walk away.

..but back to the point, its never just one instance that makes me mad. Its a build up over a long period of time  of unaddressed and unresolved annoyances and grievances that then blow up after the last straw.

The stupid hysteria over Trump and Russia pissed me off because of how ridiculous it is and all of the shrieking  about non-issues while real shit flies under the radar. Literally no one is talking about the Drone bombing in Yemen or the about face he has shown over ending U.S. meddling in foreign affairs. Instead they wanna talk about his tax returns (spoiler: THATS A RED HERRING YOU FUCKING MORON,THERE’S NOTHING THERE) and call him a “kremlin puppet”… if you say this to me I’m automatically declaring you to be “low info”.

Personal life makes me angry because holy shit do I get tired of people making assumptions about my intentions and misinterpreting my words. It happens every fucking day, imagine how infuriating and exhausting it is to be playing defence online and offline all the time because people can’t be bothered to ask you what you meant instead of acting like an asshole.

Work is infuriating because I do so much shit to get paid peanuts in return that is hardly enough to pay bills; Then I’m broke for the rest of the month.I can’t save any money, can’t plan for anything because of that, and on top of that I’m ducking and dodging…*drumroll* POLITICAL DEBATES AT WORK.


I’m starting to understand why some people drink so much. Anything to forget how horrible life is for a few hours must be heavenly.

/end of rant




I’m tired. I’m tired of my job, I’m tired of living where I live, I’m tired of struggling to get through steps that other people breeze right through, I’m tired of my life.

Why is every little thing in my life a production? Why do I have to struggle and get frustrated with, cry, and get angry before I finish a single step?

I want to travel, I want to be able to make enough money to sustain myself, I want to be happy, but it’s really beginning to seem like nothing in my life is ever going to not be stressful and take forever to accomplish.

I’m sitting here on the outside looking in while people I know travel, finish school on time, get married, and hit all of these milestones…while I’m still barely at step one and two…fucking Hell I feel like a failure, I really do.

I try to push these feelings aside, but sometimes it bubbles up to the surface and I can’t help but feel like shit.

I really wish I was someone else sometimes, because it’s too difficult being who I am and trying to do anything worthwhile.

I hate crying, I hate being emotional, I hate everything related to emotions because of how weak it makes me feel.

I wish I could switch them off and not feel anything.

(… these are the kinds of things I think about when I can’t sleep.)





So…I’m actually going to defend Lil Wayne.

Hell is freezing over y’all..

Anyway, here it goes:

I need y’all to get it through your skulls that blacklivesmatter hasn’t and will not ever, actually effectively improve the situation for anyone.

When you can be not considered apart of the “black community”anymore and have people attack you, wish harm upon you, and dismiss you as a coon or a “lost cause” (who gave you authority to decide that? That’s right, no one) because apparently some of us missed the passing out of the manual on being black.

I guess somewhere in it theres some definition of “true blackness” meaning if you have a permanent year round tan there are certain ideologies and worldviews that you have to buy into at all times in order to be in the good graces of the negro community.

Deviating from this strict definition of identity could result in dire consequences, with your punishment being used as an example of what happens when you actually have an original thought on anything.

When y’all do this,along with many other things, why exactly do you think anyone seeing that would believe you when you utter the phrase “blacklivesmatter”?
And why, exactly, does it ruffle people’s feathers that lil Wayne said “my life matters”? If he said it didn’t, that would be dangerous, yes? That would mean he wouldn’t care about preserving his own life…which would lead to reckless behavior.
Also, why are people offended that he said you don’t have to put a name on somebody getting killed by the police for an effed up reason?
Doesn’t sound like someone who is saying police brutality doesn’t happen, now does it? It sounds like someone who is essentially saying any one killed by police for an effed up reason is a problem.

…sounds like he’s essentially saying…*gasps* “all lives matter”. *dun dun dunn*

Hell, it still boggles my mind that people are offended by “all lives matter”, since most of the people using it actually do really believe that, but it’s not like this is a logical situation so…take that however you want.

I don’t even LIKE lil Wayne or even like what he says most of the time. I’m annoyed places like blacktwitter, Facebook, YouTube, and various black blog sites are so damn unreasonable in their attacks on him about this, that y’all have me out here trying to defend this dude’s right to his opinion. Even if he sounds crazy saying it.

Dna ancestry…

So, I took an ancestrydna test back in july/august, and received results in September…

…ok, here’s the deal…

…I’ve been trying to pretend like I am happy with my results, but in all honesty, I’m not pleased with them at all.

Since I’ve now brought up my displeasure, I now feel obligated to reveal said results:

88% African

3% Native American

1% Central Asian

8% European.

…I’ve tried for weeks to make myself ok with these results, but I have to be honest with myself and say I’m extremely disappointed in them.

Doesn’t matter what anyone says to me, I really do think it was a waste of my time.

Lecture away, I don’t care.